Expectations

Expectations

By Kate Ellis,ccht

What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.

We are masters of complicating life, especially when expectations do not meet with our desired reality. Expectations are encapsulated in our belief systems, as well as a projection onto others. Often we become disappointed or worse when our expectations are unmet. We lose faith in others, feeling betrayed or lied to.

Reliance on others, even to keep their word is a slippery slope. The deeper your anger when promises go unfulfilled give you a keener insight as to how much you actually trust yourself. How intense is your anger or disappointment when you yourself do not follow through?

Not long ago I discovered Lao Tzu and I have a common knowledge :

“If you are depressed,
you are living in the past.
If you are anxious,
you are living in the future.
If you are at peace,
you are living in the present.”

People often think they are escaping the present, when actually they are retreating into the mind games of time travel. And you are time traveling when focused in the past or future. Your subconscious does not know the difference between imagination or memory based thought processes.

When you focus upon anything not in your immediate now, you are disassociating and in effect removing yourself from the seat of your power, which only resides in the present. If I ask you to show me ten minutes ago, you cannot, unless it is a snapshot or video, but that is still from ten minutes ago, not in the here and now. If I ask you to show me ten minutes from now, you cannot, that is something that is being created from the collective focus you had in the past, and what you are focused upon in the present. So what you have left is the ever spacious present, where you have power, choice to make where you are a pleasure or misery.

Each thought, like raindrops collects, and eventually becomes the nutrients for your seeds to germinate, and thus your garden to grow. Consider your thoughts as raindrops. Your focus as the seeds planted. Where you choose to focus your attentions either creates a deluge, drowning, becoming overwhelmed, or the lack of dreams, desires and goals, finding yourself in a barren, boring place. Make a decision of each thought you allow yourself to focus. In essence, you are nurturing a desire. Even though you may not be thinking of it in that way, it is a truth, it is your truth. You are the master of your mind. Wield your power wisely.