By Kate Ellis,ccht
Like the cat that steals a baby’s breath in the middle of the night, in old folk lore, it arrives silently, as a thief invading your home and personal belongings. Digging through draws, overturning carefully placed conveniences donning a home. How violating an experience, to be robbed.
After assessing the devastation comes the coulda, woulda, shoulda’s racing through the mind. Did I leave the door unsecured? Should I have had an alarm? Was it time for bad luck to visit? Why me? Insurance won’t cover replacement of everything.
It is a totally vulnerable feeling, being robbed. The sense of exposure is raw, cold and unrelenting. Peace of mind, gone. Sadness and anger set in, and paranoia. It can last for a long time. Trust is tested.
Eventually one must begin to rebuild and regroup. Perhaps taking time to choose replacement items with better models. There may be things irreplaceable.
Regret is the thief. It heralds anger, with the self, which often turns inward toward the self, which is the definition of depression.
Regret is plagued with questions that cannot be answered more often than not.
Regret is a misuse of guilt, an emotion we all share as human beings.
What is Guilt: It is the foundational beliefs we carry through life. We are taught what is considered right and wrong. Living ‘right’ brings validation, being accepted and embraced. Living ‘wrong’ you are bad, shunned, disenfranchised. Depending on the layers of teachings, your soul could even be a stake.
Guilt is designed to remind us of our foundational beliefs and offers a choice: Either correct your course or expand your beliefs and evolve.
For example; we are taught as children not to cross the street alone, terrible things could happen, fear is instilled to protect you. If however, as you grow and mature you are not taught it is okay to cross at a crosswalk, look left, right then left again, you will continue to go in circles your entire life.
Often we do in many ways, go in circles, as soon as the sensation of fear arises, that is enough to halt most people from examining guilt.
Holding on to guilt does not make you a good person. Some believe this type of self flagellation absolves, it does not, it keeps you stuck.
If you carry regrets bordered by guilt, be brave and use the opportunity it provides to reexamine your truth. Ask if you need to grow, to expand. What is this teaching you, you must ask. Is this your truth or one provided for you?
What is important to keep at the forefront of mind as you peruse and examine is :
- That the only place your power or ability to change anything is in the present. You do not have ten minutes ago, it is now a memory. You do not have ten minutes from now, it is still being formed by your actions of the past and present. All decisions and choices exist right here, right now. It is impossible for it to be applied from the past or future.
- Another important consideration; more often than not, we are all doing the best we can with what we know in the moment. To apply new knowledge to a past situation is useless.
- Your power and choices are in the now.